My cycle finally started today. I was getting a little nervous that my body would do its normal trick and take a few extra days to kick in. I woke up yesterday morning with cramps, but nothing. Today was the same story, but AF actually came. Tomorrow we travel to the RE (3 hours away) for a baseline appointment. I'm so thankful that all our pre testing has been done locally. If all goes well tomorrow, I may start stims this weekend.
I've been doing alot of comparison thinking to our first IVF cycle. I was on a community board where there were many couples trying for their second or third child. I remember thinking...how selfish...can't they be content with what they have...all I want is at least one child, so I can be a mommy. Now that I'm doing this again, I feel guilty for thinking those thoughts about other people. If they were like us, they had an amazing experience the first time and just wanted to share their love with another little one. I also realize how much easier it is to go through this process with a child in my arms, with a scrapbook full of family memories, with pregnant belly pictures that I had so longed for.
If this is the end of the road for us to conceive another baby, I will learn to be content with the miracle we already have. It just seems like our family isn't totally complete. I have to say this past week I can't get enough of my son! His snuggles calm my anxious heart. He would be a great big brother.
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