I'm free today! I woke up super early again, but today I was able to throw off the covers and jump into the shower! I felt renewed and ready to take on the world. Dh reminded me to take it easy since I spent the last 3 days so devoted to our implantation! DS and I had bagels at our favorite bagel place. I'm trying to avoid my favorite coffee joints right now. There is no reason to tempt myself. Then we went to Walmart for a few warm weather toys and off to the grocery store.
We went to a friends house so the kids could play. I was exhausted by 10:00. I'm not sure if my body just got used to doing nothing or my early morning got to me. I got to take a nap, but I'm still not too reenergized. This morning I wanted to do a complete overhaul cleaning, but now I'm ok with the mess. I guess my biggest ambition today was to leave the house and that was accomplished! I am going to cook dinner tonight and have vegetables that were lacking from my fast food service diet the past few days!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
We are Nesting Today
Yesterday went really well! We sat down with Dr. for a consult about how many embryos we should transfer and we were all comfortable with 2 blasts. We had 2 real standouts, I forget all the grading because he just went over that so fast. We will probably have 6 blasts to freeze, they'll let us know today. I haven't slept very well for a week, averaging 4 hours a night, so when they offered a valium yesterday, I took it!! The last 2 transfers I had, the whole full bladder thing was just too much for me. it seems ridiculous that it would be so awful to me! This time I went to the bathroom right when we got into to town then drank about 32 ounces during our consult. For some reason, I wasn't as uncomfortable as before. I think they started before my bladder was crazy full. By the time my timer went off to get up, I was definitely ready to pee!
The bummer of yesterday, is DS and DH weren't in the room with me. It was a totally logistical decision. We didn't think I could relax with DS in the room after he had to sit still in the car for 3 hours. So they left to go outside and run. It is just different this time because the focus of our lives is different. So I sat alone to watch our embies float back in me. This is so calming to me!
I'm not sure how long valium lasts, but I was able to sleep really well last night! Praise God! So I sit around today. I will catch up on some reading and tackle some online continuing education courses. They said I could take a shower, but I'm really going to limit getting up to go to the bathroom.
Our prayers are that no matter what happens positive or not, we will still give God glory through our actions and thoughts. He knows what is best for our family and I have to trust in that.
The bummer of yesterday, is DS and DH weren't in the room with me. It was a totally logistical decision. We didn't think I could relax with DS in the room after he had to sit still in the car for 3 hours. So they left to go outside and run. It is just different this time because the focus of our lives is different. So I sat alone to watch our embies float back in me. This is so calming to me!
I'm not sure how long valium lasts, but I was able to sleep really well last night! Praise God! So I sit around today. I will catch up on some reading and tackle some online continuing education courses. They said I could take a shower, but I'm really going to limit getting up to go to the bathroom.
Our prayers are that no matter what happens positive or not, we will still give God glory through our actions and thoughts. He knows what is best for our family and I have to trust in that.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Jumbled thoughts
Saturday night I didn't sleep at all! This is the first time through the whole process that my heart felt like it was in my throat. I'm not sure why I was so anxious. The embryologist was supposed to call on Sunday morning between 8 and8:30 so we could get on the road and make our appointment. I finally decided at 8:45 to get in the shower and at least get ready for church. The phone finally rang at 8:50, DH answered the phone. The report this morning was good..10 embryos all 6-9 cells. There were too many to choose from so we are waiting till Tuesday for the transfer. It is actually great news, but I was so ready to have those embies back where they belong. I also had to rearrange things that I committed to this week. I'm kind of confused because the RE just made it seem like we would definitely do day 3 transfer. We did day 5 with DS's cycle and that was great, so I should just relax!
So we went to church and that was a hard morning. There were 2 very pregnant women in my row and a bunch scattered throughout the church and 3 newborns in the back. I guess it has been a busy year for our little congregation. We sang the song "I surrendur". That is a hard song to sing and mean it with all your heart. I don't think I've ever been able to surrendur my issues with infertility. We skipped out of the potluck, cuz my heart was not in the whole small talk thing. DH totally understood and we just went out to eat and ran errands. Later that night, I went window shopping by myself and it was a great mental break.
I'm watching my friend's kids this morning and it is a good distraction(maybe too distracting). I've had 2 phone calls this morning from people that probably sense there is something going on. One was my mom and another friend that I had confided in about our possible adoption this winter. I know they are both praying for us, but know better than to ask. I can't believe I've kept it a secret this time! It will be nice after the results are in to not have to anounce bad news or wait until we're ready for an announcement. Although, it has been lonely.
So I pretty much will not know if I have positive symptoms since my body is already doing weird stuff. I got up twice last night to go to the bathroom, I'm kind of crampy, sore chest, and weird eating habits. Also, yesterday I looked up what our due date might be. HELLO! Total oversight on my part...the due date would be Christmas Eve. I will never ever complain if it is a BFP and I don't really care what time of year, what sex or anything. I just thought it was funny I was totally clueless when a baby might arrive.
So we went to church and that was a hard morning. There were 2 very pregnant women in my row and a bunch scattered throughout the church and 3 newborns in the back. I guess it has been a busy year for our little congregation. We sang the song "I surrendur". That is a hard song to sing and mean it with all your heart. I don't think I've ever been able to surrendur my issues with infertility. We skipped out of the potluck, cuz my heart was not in the whole small talk thing. DH totally understood and we just went out to eat and ran errands. Later that night, I went window shopping by myself and it was a great mental break.
I'm watching my friend's kids this morning and it is a good distraction(maybe too distracting). I've had 2 phone calls this morning from people that probably sense there is something going on. One was my mom and another friend that I had confided in about our possible adoption this winter. I know they are both praying for us, but know better than to ask. I can't believe I've kept it a secret this time! It will be nice after the results are in to not have to anounce bad news or wait until we're ready for an announcement. Although, it has been lonely.
So I pretty much will not know if I have positive symptoms since my body is already doing weird stuff. I got up twice last night to go to the bathroom, I'm kind of crampy, sore chest, and weird eating habits. Also, yesterday I looked up what our due date might be. HELLO! Total oversight on my part...the due date would be Christmas Eve. I will never ever complain if it is a BFP and I don't really care what time of year, what sex or anything. I just thought it was funny I was totally clueless when a baby might arrive.
Friday, April 4, 2008
The day after
So it is the day after our egg retrieval. It went really well and they worked so good with us because we had DS with us. I'm in love with the anesthesia....the best nap I've had in awhile. We arrived Wednesday night to our hotel about 10:00 and DS ran around around like crazy. Needless to say when it came time to wake up, we weren't very thrilled.
DH had a good report on his "part" of the procedure. We were excited since they said it was the best it has ever looked. Talk about a male ego boost! We all need that. I felt the same when they said my endometrium looked perfect! Yeah TEAM! They retrieved 20 eggs and were happy with that number since 4 years ago (in my 20's)we had 19.
We had a long drive home...I was a little quesy, but that went away shortly. I was a little short (ok alot short) with my family at times, but I just wanted to get home. I took another awesome nap at home. the rest of the evening and this morning, I've felt kind of sore, mostly crampy, but I don't need to take anything. DS convinced DH he wasn't tired and when I came out of my room at 4:30, he was sacked out on the floor. He has never fallen asleep like that. he is a bed sleeper and car seat sleeper only. I guess the day was long for him too.
As I was writing the last paragraph, the embryologist called with the report. I'm taking a breath of air right this very minute.....15 of 20 were mature, 15 were ICSId and 12 fertilized. I feel so blessed! I know it is still too soon to get way excited as we wait for them to grow, but this whole process is one step at a time and think it is ok to rejoice with each positive step!
I was so nervous last time about every step and my thoughts were so pessimistic. I was pretty beat up emotionally. I just wanted to be a mom and my DH to be a daddy. So much of who I wanted to be relied on the success of this treatment. Once again, it is so much easier to go through this with a child in my arms. As I waited on the table yesterday, Ds cuddled up on my lap and put his head on my chest. This was a precious moment and I'm so thankful for this.
Sunday is day 3 and they will call us in the morning and we'll know if we head down or if we are waiting for day 5. Schedule wise, day 3 works alot better for DH taking time off work, but in the scheme of everything, we just want what is best. I better get off the computer and talk to DH.
DH had a good report on his "part" of the procedure. We were excited since they said it was the best it has ever looked. Talk about a male ego boost! We all need that. I felt the same when they said my endometrium looked perfect! Yeah TEAM! They retrieved 20 eggs and were happy with that number since 4 years ago (in my 20's)we had 19.
We had a long drive home...I was a little quesy, but that went away shortly. I was a little short (ok alot short) with my family at times, but I just wanted to get home. I took another awesome nap at home. the rest of the evening and this morning, I've felt kind of sore, mostly crampy, but I don't need to take anything. DS convinced DH he wasn't tired and when I came out of my room at 4:30, he was sacked out on the floor. He has never fallen asleep like that. he is a bed sleeper and car seat sleeper only. I guess the day was long for him too.
As I was writing the last paragraph, the embryologist called with the report. I'm taking a breath of air right this very minute.....15 of 20 were mature, 15 were ICSId and 12 fertilized. I feel so blessed! I know it is still too soon to get way excited as we wait for them to grow, but this whole process is one step at a time and think it is ok to rejoice with each positive step!
I was so nervous last time about every step and my thoughts were so pessimistic. I was pretty beat up emotionally. I just wanted to be a mom and my DH to be a daddy. So much of who I wanted to be relied on the success of this treatment. Once again, it is so much easier to go through this with a child in my arms. As I waited on the table yesterday, Ds cuddled up on my lap and put his head on my chest. This was a precious moment and I'm so thankful for this.
Sunday is day 3 and they will call us in the morning and we'll know if we head down or if we are waiting for day 5. Schedule wise, day 3 works alot better for DH taking time off work, but in the scheme of everything, we just want what is best. I better get off the computer and talk to DH.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
I'm Triggered
Today has been a little rough. DS was up alot last night (and previous nights) which usually means he has an ear infection. I ate a bowl of cereal at 2:00 in the morning which is way out of character. DS thought it was funny that I needed to feed the eggs. So I stayed awake last night debating if I take him to the Dr. or wait it out a little. I woke up this morning and performed my HCG test..it was positive. DH and I shared a laugh over the silliness of taking a pregnancy test. I'm pretty sure the hormone is affecting my mood today. I've been really short with DS and getting easily annoyed. He is a little more needy today from not feeling good.
His Dr. got us right in and verified my suspicion of an ear infection. Such a different experience going to his Dr. I want a lollipop after my Dr. appointment and a sticker would be nice too. I had a couple errands today, but they too got the best of me. I don't want to be a complainer as I am still so excited to be at this stage in the process. With that said, here is the laundry list: My lower back really hurts, my bottom feels pretty sore from the trigger shot, my stomach is crazy bloated and still very bruised from injections, and I'm starting to feel a little nauseous(I think I just need to eat)
I need to get all of our thing together so we can leave the house around 6:00 tonight. We need to be at the clinic at 7:30. We have to get there especially early, so I can watch DS while DH does his thing and then they can take me back and have DH watch DS. They specifically say no kids on ER day, but there was no way we could leave him here overnight and for the next day, especially since he is sick.
I guess this will be the last post until those eggs are free of me. I've enjoyed being their nest while it lasted.
His Dr. got us right in and verified my suspicion of an ear infection. Such a different experience going to his Dr. I want a lollipop after my Dr. appointment and a sticker would be nice too. I had a couple errands today, but they too got the best of me. I don't want to be a complainer as I am still so excited to be at this stage in the process. With that said, here is the laundry list: My lower back really hurts, my bottom feels pretty sore from the trigger shot, my stomach is crazy bloated and still very bruised from injections, and I'm starting to feel a little nauseous(I think I just need to eat)
I need to get all of our thing together so we can leave the house around 6:00 tonight. We need to be at the clinic at 7:30. We have to get there especially early, so I can watch DS while DH does his thing and then they can take me back and have DH watch DS. They specifically say no kids on ER day, but there was no way we could leave him here overnight and for the next day, especially since he is sick.
I guess this will be the last post until those eggs are free of me. I've enjoyed being their nest while it lasted.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
God is Good!
Yesterday was a long day, but a good one. I had an E2 check and ultrasound done. I had DS with me and during the ultrasound he said, "Why are they looking at your bottom, mama?" The nurse and Dr. had a good laugh as I laid there feeling a bit exposed with no great answer for him. I'm glad he is older so he can sit still and color, but I never know quite how to answer his questions. When I got off the table he said, "mama, I don't want to see your bottom again!" I second that motion.
The results of the U/S were good. uterine lining is ready at 10.5 left and right ovary had a couple 18 and 20mm follicles, but there were a lot of 16mm that he wanted to stim one more day. He asked me to come back tomorrow(Tuesday) to check again. I just looked at him with my "you've got to be kidding...I didn't plan to stay the night...nor could I bear driving an extra trip..."look. He realized my burden after awhile of sitting and staring at me and compromised to let me just come back on Thursday for egg retrieval. I totally appreciate the attention to detail, these people are perfectionists of their trade and I would follow any protocol they felt necessary, but this just didn't seem too necessary since we know how fast the follies are growing and that they will be ready.
I trigger tonight....not sure what time yet. As I wait, I go back to my regular day of duties, but I'm constantly reminded of the excitement that is within me. I feel like a balloon that is ready to be popped. In some ways my symptoms mimick those of a pregnancy. That seems a little mean to me, but I'll take it. It might be the closest I get.
God is good! I feel like I haven't given him all the glory for this process. He blessed us with money, just enough to pay for one cycle. He guided the timing. He guided all circumstances that lead up to us being where we are now. He has guided my health, our safety driving...pretty much everything! He has protected my emotions for this roller coaster ride! I'm happy, I'm at peace, I'm excited, I've had some good night's sleep. I am thankful for all of it. My prayer is that we will continue to look to Him for wisdom and that we will honor and glorify Him.
Wow, I didn't realize how much I needed today to be a break from it all. I'm a little bummed that we aren't doing this tomorrow, but I was delayed our first time out and I have a precious son.
The results of the U/S were good. uterine lining is ready at 10.5 left and right ovary had a couple 18 and 20mm follicles, but there were a lot of 16mm that he wanted to stim one more day. He asked me to come back tomorrow(Tuesday) to check again. I just looked at him with my "you've got to be kidding...I didn't plan to stay the night...nor could I bear driving an extra trip..."look. He realized my burden after awhile of sitting and staring at me and compromised to let me just come back on Thursday for egg retrieval. I totally appreciate the attention to detail, these people are perfectionists of their trade and I would follow any protocol they felt necessary, but this just didn't seem too necessary since we know how fast the follies are growing and that they will be ready.
I trigger tonight....not sure what time yet. As I wait, I go back to my regular day of duties, but I'm constantly reminded of the excitement that is within me. I feel like a balloon that is ready to be popped. In some ways my symptoms mimick those of a pregnancy. That seems a little mean to me, but I'll take it. It might be the closest I get.
God is good! I feel like I haven't given him all the glory for this process. He blessed us with money, just enough to pay for one cycle. He guided the timing. He guided all circumstances that lead up to us being where we are now. He has guided my health, our safety driving...pretty much everything! He has protected my emotions for this roller coaster ride! I'm happy, I'm at peace, I'm excited, I've had some good night's sleep. I am thankful for all of it. My prayer is that we will continue to look to Him for wisdom and that we will honor and glorify Him.
Wow, I didn't realize how much I needed today to be a break from it all. I'm a little bummed that we aren't doing this tomorrow, but I was delayed our first time out and I have a precious son.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
My First Check
Wow...a long day! I didn't sleep too great last night, I guess a little anxious. So I am pretty beat from leaving the house at 7:30 for an 11:00 appointment and just getting back home at 4:00. Everything went really well! I've got 23 documented follies with some small ones in the nooks and crannies. My estradiol level is 1736 (whatever that means) My lining is doing great too. So I will be on my estimated schedule which is ET on Wednesday. I was encouraged today because my first checkup for our 1stIVF wasn't this good and I was 29. I guess adding more meds was the ticket!
Monday I will make the trek back down for another ultrasound and ET instructions. I will have the little guy with me on Monday so that always makes for a more interesting road trip. It is nice though to have the distraction from the Main Event.
Monday I will make the trek back down for another ultrasound and ET instructions. I will have the little guy with me on Monday so that always makes for a more interesting road trip. It is nice though to have the distraction from the Main Event.
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