Today has been hard! This has probably been the hardest day yet. I think it just dawned on me today that this really could fail. I've been at peace and very positive the whole time, but now that it is getting so close, I am starting to do that self preservation thinking. As we worshipped this morning (again, surrounded by babies and pregnancies) I fought back tears. It is so hard when they are right there and you know if you let go, it isn't going to stop.
I made it through and told dh, it was a tough one. He is so positive! I love him for it. He thinks we should take a test, but I'm hesitant. My first beta with DS was really low, like 20 something, so it may not even register on a test. I think we will just wait. So this afternoon I took a nice nap and was quiet to the voices in my head. Tommorow is my first beta, but they don't give results until the second beta on Wednesday. They want to see the numbers increase before they say anything.
Hoping to stay sane and love my last few days of pretending to be pregnant!
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3 comments:
Hey Megan- I check everyday to see if there's any updates. I totally know what you are talking about with being at church. I had that experience for years as well-especially baby dedications. I had so many times I had to leave and it was just so tough.
I will be praying for you guys and look forward to see what happens in the next few days. I'm so glad to get to be in on this journey with you via bloggin! Hang in there-I know all the emotions you are facing. May God give you the peace and strength you need. Love Kami
Megan,
My clinic does the same with the beta tests. Just hold out until Wednesday - don't do any in-home tests - they almost always read positive because of the hormones. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
thank you both for the encouragement! It means so much!
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