Monday, April 7, 2008

Jumbled thoughts

Saturday night I didn't sleep at all! This is the first time through the whole process that my heart felt like it was in my throat. I'm not sure why I was so anxious. The embryologist was supposed to call on Sunday morning between 8 and8:30 so we could get on the road and make our appointment. I finally decided at 8:45 to get in the shower and at least get ready for church. The phone finally rang at 8:50, DH answered the phone. The report this morning was good..10 embryos all 6-9 cells. There were too many to choose from so we are waiting till Tuesday for the transfer. It is actually great news, but I was so ready to have those embies back where they belong. I also had to rearrange things that I committed to this week. I'm kind of confused because the RE just made it seem like we would definitely do day 3 transfer. We did day 5 with DS's cycle and that was great, so I should just relax!

So we went to church and that was a hard morning. There were 2 very pregnant women in my row and a bunch scattered throughout the church and 3 newborns in the back. I guess it has been a busy year for our little congregation. We sang the song "I surrendur". That is a hard song to sing and mean it with all your heart. I don't think I've ever been able to surrendur my issues with infertility. We skipped out of the potluck, cuz my heart was not in the whole small talk thing. DH totally understood and we just went out to eat and ran errands. Later that night, I went window shopping by myself and it was a great mental break.

I'm watching my friend's kids this morning and it is a good distraction(maybe too distracting). I've had 2 phone calls this morning from people that probably sense there is something going on. One was my mom and another friend that I had confided in about our possible adoption this winter. I know they are both praying for us, but know better than to ask. I can't believe I've kept it a secret this time! It will be nice after the results are in to not have to anounce bad news or wait until we're ready for an announcement. Although, it has been lonely.

So I pretty much will not know if I have positive symptoms since my body is already doing weird stuff. I got up twice last night to go to the bathroom, I'm kind of crampy, sore chest, and weird eating habits. Also, yesterday I looked up what our due date might be. HELLO! Total oversight on my part...the due date would be Christmas Eve. I will never ever complain if it is a BFP and I don't really care what time of year, what sex or anything. I just thought it was funny I was totally clueless when a baby might arrive.

1 comment:

Christine said...

Oh Megan,
I just feel for you having to go through this and not being able to confide in your family and friends. I'm "here" for you. I hope that's helpful.

Thanks for posting. I was patiently waiting to hear if you had your transfer on Sunday or not. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers especially tomorrow. I go in for Day 3 labs and such tomorrow too - so it will be top of mind.

God Bless.